none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
