this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
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We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
pray to the hookup gods
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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