I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
