I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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