ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
