spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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