It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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