just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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