Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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