Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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