Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
