i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
