yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
