two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You're like the curious george of whores
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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