She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
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It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
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I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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