We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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