i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he shaved USA in his pubs
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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