If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
