Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
this will be a night to untag.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
