You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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