it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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