If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
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She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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