If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.