Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine... http://tfl.nu/7ts7

Replies (53) Good night (637) Bad night (3440) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down http://tfl.nu/ig2f

Replies (8) Good night (6495) Bad night (1113) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(918): View more from Oklahoma

She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(918): She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in. http://tfl.nu/ogcc

Replies (59) Good night (7985) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina. http://tfl.nu/zhac

Replies (5) Good night (781) Bad night (2874) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.

(847): View more from Illinois

It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic. (847): It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word. http://tfl.nu/kmzp

Replies (9) Good night (2635) Bad night (719)
Favorite
(205): View more from Alabama

Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(205): Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails http://tfl.nu/p7in

Replies (12) Good night (3282) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(918): View more from Oklahoma

I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(918): I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this http://tfl.nu/kupi

Replies (6) Good night (1666) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day

(617): View more from Massachusetts

How about a mike?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Already had two of those

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day (617): How about a mike? (978): Already had two of those http://tfl.nu/wf5g

Replies (4) Good night (1465) Bad night (541)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side. http://tfl.nu/0ask

Replies (16) Good night (2594) Bad night (624)
Favorite
(954): View more from Florida

damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(954): damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian http://tfl.nu/u64e

Replies (6) Good night (2226) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship. http://tfl.nu/s5mh

Replies (17) Good night (2113) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample. http://tfl.nu/ndxy

Replies (4) Good night (719) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(515): View more from Iowa

nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(515): nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying http://tfl.nu/wg7d

Replies (3) Good night (1465) Bad night (442)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong. http://tfl.nu/luq5

Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(306): I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame http://tfl.nu/y48t

Replies (1) Good night (503) Bad night (107) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: