i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize