It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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