So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well I just put wine in my tea
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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