My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize