so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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