Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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