I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
