Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.