I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine