Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.

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  (330): cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank. http://tfl.nu/47xc
  Replies (8) Good night (1780) Bad night (574)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels

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  (703): i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels http://tfl.nu/aed7
  Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (1359)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.

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  (859): I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more. http://tfl.nu/etjd
  Replies (18) Good night (1039) Bad night (3336)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?

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  (305): If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette? http://tfl.nu/wdb5
  Replies (50) Good night (1176) Bad night (2785)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass

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  (406): Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass http://tfl.nu/uf2h
  Replies (20) Good night (2181) Bad night (1310)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis

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  (716): i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis http://tfl.nu/uywx
  Replies (19) Good night (4508) Bad night (548)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp

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  (201): I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp http://tfl.nu/qhzj
  Replies (32) Good night (5321) Bad night (966)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.

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  (703): we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker. http://tfl.nu/rqvi
  Replies (8) Good night (5067) Bad night (551)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.

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  (613): Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar. http://tfl.nu/8auj
  Replies (12) Good night (2713) Bad night (879)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...

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  (713): He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate... http://tfl.nu/djvz
  Replies (5) Good night (818) Bad night (2152)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.

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  (253): I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE. http://tfl.nu/sorm
  Replies (7) Good night (1668) Bad night (501)
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  (925): View more from California

  Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.

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  (925): Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT. http://tfl.nu/tojt
  Replies (6) Good night (1335) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains

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  (302): Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains http://tfl.nu/rusa
  Replies (6) Good night (1399) Bad night (505)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital

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  (479): I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital http://tfl.nu/kjdp
  Replies (9) Good night (907) Bad night (402)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.

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  (708): Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store. http://tfl.nu/aft6
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (244)

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