I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
