Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize