I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
