I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize