it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
