You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
