I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize