the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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