glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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