Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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