If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
