I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
