She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
