So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize