dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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