I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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