I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
