my vag is so smooth its legendary
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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