I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
