My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize