he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he fucked my hip out of place.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
