Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
