I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
