we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
