You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
