So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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