I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
